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Saturday night just after I laid a few of my kids down, one of my sons called out to me. He said, "Dad, I have a bloody nose."

Exhausted from the day, I turned back around and went into his room. We walked into the bathroom together to start getting him cleaned up, but we couldn't. Within a minute his nose started bleeding significantly. It became a big mess very quickly.

I called for my wife to come up and help because he was bleeding so much.

After about 10 minutes, it hadn't stopped or even slowed down. I called my sister, who is a nurse practitioner, to talk about it and while we were on the phone, my son started bleeding from his eyes. We immediately headed for the hospital.

My son was visibly shaken. His breathing rapidly increased while his ability to stand up and stay balanced decreased. He was bleeding through every wad of tissue we put on his nose, and his vision was going blurry. It was unnerving to see.

I got the car ready, and my wife kept our son balanced and helped him try to keep his nose plugged to stop the bleeding. The nearest hospital was over 30 minutes away.

My wife during all of that experience never flinched. She remained calm and encouraging to our son. She jumped in and got right to work without a doubt everything would be fine. And in that moment she recalled there is a duct between your nose and eyes that was likely the reason our son's nose bleed was also showing up in his eyes as the blood - because there was enough of it - was traveling through that duct as we tried to plug his nose.

After bleeding for over an hour and within a few hours at the hospital, we learned an artery in his nose burst, causing the significant bleeding. They fixed it, and we were on our way home at midnight.

It got my heart beating quickly to see my son like that and not know what was happening. My wife, on the other hand, responded to the emergency with a calm confidence that was reassuring to all of us. She fell back to her training as an EMT earlier in life. She knew what to do and did it.

How do you respond to emergencies? To adversity? While the answer may differ and may depend for everyone, the answer is simple: #Training.

We all fall back to our level of training and preparation. It's important then that we train well so when the moment comes, you're prepared for it. Whatever your field of study or career path you're on, just train well. The opportunities and moments will come when your preparation will be needed.

"We don't rise to the level of our expectations; we fall to the level of our training."

-Archilochus

#everydayleadership #buildingyoubetter #training 

Did you know that Kangaroos can't go backwards?

Most animals are capable of moving backwards, but kangaroos can't. Neither can emus. Their physical characteristics make it impossible to do so. Forward motion is their only option - their only direction.

If you haven't noticed yet, a lot of the world around us is designed for forward motion. Planes take off and fly in forward motion. Signs are in front of you so you know where to go. You only have eyes in the front of your head. And while parental "eyes in the back of our heads" are really a thing, sadly, they don't really exist. Your car has a large front windshield (and only small rear view mirrors). It, like a bike, is designed to drive forward.

The world is all but forcing us to move forward.

While it is important to know where we've been and to even glance back every now and again, like we do when driving a car, our focus should always be forward. We'll never get to where we're going - or could go - if we're stuck focusing on where we've been.

Don't live looking or going backwards. The world is willing you to look ahead and to move forward because that's what you were designed to do.

#lookforward #everydayleadership #buildingyoubetter 

Control what you can control.

Life throws a lot at us every day. Sometimes it helps us, sometimes it distracts us, and sometimes it stresses us out.

The weather ruins plans to be outside all the time. Traffic jams come and go and are just as predictable as the weather. Deadlines shift and complicate schedules regularly. Flights get delayed and canceled routinely, creating a domino effect of changes for individuals, companies, and families.

And in every one of these situations, I have little control over the circumstances. However, I have significant influence over my experience in each situation - because I control my Attitude and Effort.

My kids regularly do chores in our house, and cleaning their bathrooms is one of them. None of them like to do it, especially when it comes to cleaning the toilet. But my 4 year old is a glowing example of controlling what he can control. He is smiling and working hard doing a chore no one wants to do. He figures he might as well enjoy it and get it done if he has to do it anyway.

Attitude and Effort.

My oldest son's basketball team has been in a few tough spots in their last 3 games. We lost all of them, but the coach we are working with has maintained an awesome cool and collected approach with these boys. During Monday night's game we fell behind by nearly 20 points. We called timeout and in the huddle, coach said, "Don't look at the scoreboard. Just focus on doing what we've worked on. I don't care if we win. It's not you that will get fired if we lose. So just play the game and do your best."

5 minutes later as we closed out the first half, the team was energized and had closed the gap to single digits. They played some of the best basketball they've played so far this season.

Attitude and Effort.

Lots of things in life are out of your control. Focus on what you can control, and your experience in this life will be much better.

#everydayleadership #buildingyoubetter #attitude #effort 

What does a heart for Service look like? What does servant leadership look like? Like this.

"Service to others is the rent you pay for your room here on earth." -Muhammad Ali

My dad, at 11pm last night, got on a video call with my daughter to help work through some school work that was really challenging... until 1:30am! Neither her mother nor I could help her as the subject was beyond our capability and memory from school so many years ago. So I called my dad for help, knowing he likely knew the material and is a night person and would still be up.

And from him came no judgements. No criticisms. No questions. No bravado to show how smart he is. Just love and a willingness to jump in and help immediately. His desire was for nothing but the best for his granddaughter. He focused on her and worked through the assignment with her in a way that helped her understand it so she could succeed. His sole focus was her understanding and success. He never once made it about him.

It was good of my daughter to ask for help when she needed it. This experience wouldn't have happened had she not. And it just goes to show that there is value in asking for help because there are many, many people out there ready and willing to share, help, and serve.

Don't wait when you need help. Just ask. It's OK to do so. People are good and willing to serve and help given the chance.

I'm so lucky to have a dad like this. He continually lives as a great example of love and Service through his actions and has a heart of gold. Thanks, Dad!

#everydayleadership #buildingyoubetter #servantleader #help #love 

Don't Burn Bridges. Build them.

Several years ago, I worked in property management taking care of rental property. We regularly filled our contracts and were growing a waiting list year over year. We had great momentum and a great reputation.

I met one of our main competitors not too long after I started working there. He met with my boss, the owner, and I soon learned he would come by regularly. He toured our units, I met with him and showed him how we managed our maintenance program, and even shared our marketing practices with him.

Each time we did this I was a little dumb founded that we would be so open with him about everything. This became especially surprising as I learned more and more about his rental property. Our marketing brochures started to look the same. Our furniture began to look the same. It was like he was just copying us in everything we did and yet was not equally open and willing to collaborate when it came to visiting his property. In fact, I would say the relationship was much more focused on what we could do for him than what he could do for us. It was very one-sided and very cold. It was definitely not a love-filled relationship by any means.

This was the norm for us the entire time I worked there. Then one day, the owner (my boss) and I pursued expanding our property management services to a large, new property in the area. We developed our proposal and did our homework and finally got the chance to visit with the new property ownership team to present our proposal.

And to my surprise, in the ownership team of this new property was this owner who copy-catted everything we did at our current property.

Had my boss soured that relationship years ago, I'm very confident we never would have been invited to share our proposal.

While I worked for this owner, he would regularly say to me, "Don't burn any bridges." He lived that every day. I learned very clearly that day why. You just never know when that relationship may impact what you do in your future.

Your network is invaluable. Every person in your network is or may be invaluable at some point, regardless of how warm or cold that relationship is. Don't burn those bridges - ever. Build them and maintain them. You just never know when you'll need them to cross over to get to a new destination.

#everydayleadership #buildingyoubetter #buildbridges 

Several weeks ago, my 6 year old told me, "Uncle Trevor is cooler than you."

He was standing with him outside while our good friend showed him his Tesla and all its bells and whistles (which were impressive, I might add). My son was enamored and loving every minute of it. Then, as we walked into our house, that's when he said it.

I couldn't agree more with him 😀, but it did get my mind thinking about value and how we associate value to people and to things and ideas but to people, in particular. My son, at the great age of just 6, finds value in a person's tangible things - like a Tesla. That, combined with the good heart, great natured kindness of Uncle Trevor (who actually isn't even related) is the basis for how my son identifies value.

For me, value in people comes from a different angle. Value comes from more than what a person has. It comes from who they are, what they believe, how they live, and what they do for others.

Uncle Trevor is definitely a person of value - but it's not because he owns a Tesla. It comes from his belief system, from how he treats everyone around him, and how he lives each day. And one day, I think my son will (and hope) that he begins to recognize that.

Let's value people for the right reasons.

#everydayleadership #buildingyoubetter 

Where is one of the best places to learn leadership and what it takes to succeed?

The list is long what it comes to what you can learn, and in many cases, should learn about leadership and the path to success:

-Having a vision

-Making a plan

-Managing expectations

-Conflict resolution

-The value of teamwork

-Work ethic

-Personal growth and development

-Finding and exceeding your limits

-Overcoming fear

-Patience with the process

-Continuous learning

-Taking action

-Empowering others

-The true value of trust

-Accountability

-Delegation

-Imperfection and what is good enough

-Forgiveness

-The power of identity

-Motivation and inspiration

And everything else not on the list. Where have I learned and continue to learn my most valuable lessons on these subjects?

In my home - in partnership with my spouse and raising my 7 children.

My home isn't perfect. It's loud. It's messy. It's fun. One of these days I won't have to hound my kids to always pick up after themselves or brush their teeth regularly. It's hilarious and gut wrenching all at the same time. It hurts (especially when you step on a lego without shoes on!). It's exhausting. It's stressful. It's exciting. It's loud. It's the single most challenging thing I've ever done and the single most rewarding. Did I mention that's it's loud?

I'm no perfect parent. I'm learning every day and recognize just how much room I have to grow through every experience I have.

But I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world. It's the best university I could ever attend. Every lesson I learn is directly applicable to what I have to do at work and in life every day. It's the greatest teacher I could ask for.

As a father of 7 and married for almost 20 years to the same, most amazing spouse, my home is the foundation of all that I am, all that I believe, and all I have learned about leadership and success.

Where would you say your best learning has come from? I would bet if you take a few minutes to honestly reflect, regardless of what your home life and experience have been, you'll find that your home really has been one of your most, if not the, most influential teacher of leadership and success.

#leadership #success #everydayleadership #buildingyoubetter #homelife 

Brownie points!

That's what my 2 youngest boys wanted yesterday. They figured it out pretty quickly. Doing extra chores around the house and helping mom and dad would earn them Brownie points.

They cleaned all the windows they could reach. They emptied the dishwasher. They vacuumed the floors, and they cleaned up the living room. And they did it all voluntarily and with smiles on their faces.

After each chore they finished, they asked if they earned a brownie point. The answer was yes each time. Why the drive to earn brownie points?

They wanted to play the xbox.

The cost came in the form of some work around the house. Now, they rarely get to play on a school day and almost never during the day itself. But, they had a goal and worked for it almost all on their own. How could we say no to that?

It's a pretty simple actually. If you want something, work for it. And sometimes you have to do a little extra to get what you want - just like my boys, cleaning windows and doing other chores on their own so they could play the xbox.

#everydayleadership #buildingyoubetter #workforit 

Turn on your sound for this video!

This is my oldest daughter and her best friend performing a duet on vibraphone and marimba. You will notice that each one of them has 2 mallets in each hand, which if you're unfamiliar with percussion instruments and playing this is very challenging as each hand is controlling 2 mallets that play different notes and rhythms throughout the song. It is incredible.

I am so proud of my daughter for finding something she LOVES and putting in the work on it. Her dedication and consistency have paid off as they scored well enough at the district level to make it to regionals.

This level of performance requires significant preparation, and preparation comes from practice, consistency, and dedication. She clearly understands that and has preformed at a high level because of it. On her solo selection (not shown here), she is one of only 3 that received all superior ratings - the highest ratings possible - and qualified her for the state competition.

No matter what you do, preparation is a must. Preparation precedes performance. It is the secret sauce to excellence in all you do.

I'm proud to see my daughter excel and to get these incredible results when she knows she's paid the price in preparing for excellence.

#everydayleadership #buildingyoubetter #preparation 

What's the positive side of having covid?

Well, I got home from New Zealand over the weekend and had about 2 days before my body signaled something was off. We already had a kid with pink eye and one with the flu through the weekend. Sunday night when I went to bed, I noticed my body was achy. By 3am, I couldn't sleep. By 7am, I was heading downhill fast. By Tuesday agreeing, I had tested positive for covid and into isolation at home I went, much to the dismay of my family (with 7 kids, we always isolate for things like pink eye, the flu, covid, etc... if we don't, we just do a round Robin of passing the same sickness from one person to the next until we've all had it at least twice... it cab go on for months! And if we're really lucky, then we get stuck with something new and start all over again. 😄).

I had just come home and was more or less gone again for a few days - my wife juggling the demands of our family of 7 kids on her own again like a champ.

Then my 4 year old, who desperately wants to be by my side all the time, started to get a little runny nose and to complain about a soar throat. So, we tested him here at home for covid and sure enough, he tested positive.

His reaction was priceless. After being told he had covid, he immediately smiled and shouted, "Yeah!! Now I can snuggle daddy!" .... and with that he ran to me and gave me a big hug.

There is always a brighter side to life if we'll look for it. Thank you, little man, for being so happy to be sick because now we get to hang out together instead of going through this alone.

#perspective #attitudematters #everydayleadership #buildingyoubetter 

No one can do it for you.

To be the best in the world, Usain Bolt had to beat the best of the best - again and again. He did just that in the Olympics in Beijing, in London, and in Rio de Janeiro. He spent hours training every day for years just to prepare to compete.

There were times he said he felt alone and that he didn't feel much purpose in doing it anymore. He'd already won so much that it was difficult to stay motivated to train to compete again from one race to the next. The training was repetitive. It required long hours and discipline in everything he did. He had to sacrifice what he wanted that would temporarily satisfy for that which was hard but would provide a much deeper gratification.

Bolt did it, though. He overcame himself to be the best version of himself that he could be. When asked about his career and being the best, he put it simply:

"You want to be a winner, you 'av to work hard to be a winner."

That's it. There is no shortcut or fast-track to being a winner. It requires accountability, commitment and effort (ACE). Just like Bolt said, it requires hard work. And only those willing to put in the work will get the result.

Put in the work. Hold yourself accountable. Commit and put in the effort. Be a winner today.

#everydayleadership #buildingyoubetter #beawinner 

Does 1 person really make a difference?

Over the last month, my oldest son's basketball team has won some tough games. We've managed to play well enough and with enough heart to win in the last minute of each of those games - until this last Saturday.

Our game was off. We were winning at half time, but we started the 2nd half with a series of turnovers, similar to how we started the game. We scored and kept it close at first. Then we missed several defensive assignments. That was followed by more turnovers, and that was followed by some poor decision making offensively, missing our positions and spacing on several plays.

We just had an off game. But what really was the difference on Saturday?

We were missing 2 key players.

We had a substitute player from another team, but the hole to fill was too big. We were missing the hustle, the aggression, the size, and the leadership these 2 players provide to this team. They regularly contribute by rebounding and playing great defense in the paint.

Not having that, even though we had enough players and good enough players to win that game, had a huge impact on our chemistry and ability to execute well as a team.

Does 1 person really make a difference?

Take a look at professional sports teams. The round Robin of trading players to get one marquee player in hopes they can change a franchise for years to come should tell you YES - 1 person really DOES make a difference.

The same holds true for any team. Whether that be an office or administrative team or a manufacturing team or a project team. 1 person can make the difference in your success. My team's experience this past weekend highlighted that same learning for me. Does the same hold true for you?

#everydayleadership #buildingyoubetter #leadership #success 

Success this weekend!

Saturday morning, in the snow, I ran my first race of the year. I'm not fast. I'm not a top competitor by any means. But I did it. I finished 1 minute 20 seconds faster than my Thanksgiving Day race.... and I did it while running on a snow covered and icy trail.

And to finish out, I jumped into a frozen lake.... water at roughly 28 degrees. I had a moment where I thought I shouldn't do it, but it passed quickly. When the time came, I jumped and just did it.

Exhilarating!

Then, the rest of the day was coaching my 2 sons on their basketball games.

Both games were some of the most physical games we've played yet. My one son looks like he sprained his thumb while my oldest son likely broke his nose near the end of his game. Both gutted it out, and both won.

Both games were close right to the end.

My one son's team went back and forth the whole game. With a few minutes to go, they were tied but finally broke free and went ahead by a basket. They held on for the win with a minute to go.

My older son's team was down by 2 with 30 seconds left. The other team had the ball and were ready to stall and hold on for the win.

They were inbounding under our basket. We pressured them heavily, and as they made their pass, we stole it right under the basket and scored to tie it up. A quick transition and missed shots between the 2 teams turned into a foul on one of our players on a shot. He made 1 of 2 free throws to put us up by 1 with 3 seconds to go. They passed the ball in quickly and heaved a desparation shot nearly 3/4 the length of the court that fell far short of its target. We won by 1.

What was the difference maker in both games, and how is that related to me running and jumping in a frozen lake?

Mindset.

While both teams fully contributed to their wins, each team had an X-factor.

Guage, on my younger son's team, relentlessly attacked the basket. And he defended the other team's best player. During a timeout, we encouraged him to continue to attack and to not let their best player score. He looked at me and with a determined smile that showed his grit, he patted his chest and said, "He won't get away from me, Coach. He's not scoring on me."

My older son's team also had a player who tirelessly attacked the basket. He went full speed the whole game both offensively and defensively. He ended up on the floor more than any other player during the game, going after loose balls and getting knocked down and hit by guys easily a foot taller and well heavier than him. But, his mind was made up. He made the steal at the end of the game, made the basket to tie the game, and made the free throw to win it.

And me? I'm no hero like these boys, but I decided months ago I was running and jumping in that frozen water. I didn't hesitate when it was time because my mind was made up.

Lesson learned: There's nothing more powerful than when you make up your mind. That's always the difference.

#buildingyoubetter 

Have you ever played the game Build Up?

The object of the game is to strategically place uniquely shaped blocks in a balanced position so the tower can be built as high as possible. Each block can only touch the last 2 blocks on the tower, and the blocks you use are determined by selecting 1 of 3 cards randomly dealt to you that indicate which blocks you can use. Everyone takes turns, one block at a time, and each block has a different point value. Don't be the one to topple the tower or the person who went just before you gets the points!

My sister-in-law and her family have been here the last few days, and one of our favorite things to do together is play games. And we played Build Up last night.

After several rounds, we got to the round shown in the pictures. We started building, and of course, everyone was competing, trying to make the next person's turn more difficult so they could get the points. Funny enough, though, about half way up, the attitude in the family changed. We saw a tower that seemed improbable and that definitely could not take another block - or could it?

We moved from competition to collaboration. Everyone was helping everyone else to see how high we could build it. We talked through which cards to select together, even when it wasn't our turn, and coached each other on how to place the blocks.

And the tower grew to the highest tower I've ever seen playing the game...until finally, it fell.

I observed 2 key lessons from this experience last night:

First, a common vision of what can be - the potential in the situation - unifies a team. It drives out competition and self-preservation in the pursuit of a common goal.

Second, balance can be achieved in everything, but it comes at a cost. Balance is delicate and only takes one thing being ever so slightly out of balance to topple the whole structure. Balance is not the ideal. Building up strategically and in a way that compliments each piece's strengths and characteristics allows more to be achieved in a way that can withstand adversity better in the long run (ie the table shaking or a slight bump while placing the next piece).

And so it is with life and leadership. Vision unifies. Find one that inspires you, your organization, and your family. And instead of seeking for balance, pursue a more strategic approach in life, recognizing that there is no one right way to build up your life. Each part of your life has unique characteristics and strengths that can compliment one another and make you stronger in the long-run.

And if you're looking for a fun game that everyone can play, give Build Up a shot!

#everydayleadership #buildingyoubetter #leadership 

I have several nephews who wrestle. One of them is particularly inspiring when you read about his recent experience told by his dad, my brother-in-law Peter Schmidt;

"I have 2 sons that wrestle. One

places at national tournaments and is 27-0 on the season. My other is a 95 lbs freshman with cerebral palsy.

We have to modify how he wrestles because of this and it's a tough task. He is 2-12 on the year for JV, and those [wins] are his first 2 wins in 3 years.

Every day he shows up and grinds for 2 hours. We have frequent talks about goals where he vents his frustrations with his condition. But he keeps showing up and grinding.

Our starting 103 lbs [wrestler] was injured [so tonight my son] wrestled Varsity. We knew it would be a close duel and

told everyone we couldn't give up [any] pins.

We won the duel 36-34 where

they won 7 matches and we won 6.

He lost 9-0 but fought off his back every time and didn't get pinned. All of his other losses this year have been by pin.

When he came off he

was disappointed but said, "he didn't pin me."

It won us [the team] the duel. If he would have been pinned, we would have lost 36-36 on criteria. Never been anything but proud of this kid. He felt like the champion he is tonight when I explained to him what

that effort meant to the team.

Love this kid and it has nothing to do with his win loss record!"

This story represents so many good lessons.

1️⃣ Every member of the team adds value

2️⃣ When you understand how you add value and contribute, your self-value increases

3️⃣ Great coaching, like his dad exhibited, helps connect effort to contribution and outcomes

4️⃣ Leadership is painting a vision and giving clear expected outcomes so the team knows what is necessary to succeed, just like the coaches did for these boys

5️⃣ Leadership is gratitude and love and showing that to the team

6️⃣ Growth comes from small successes built upon one another over time

7️⃣ True effort is invaluable

8️⃣ Losses are a part of winning and sometimes the most important part

9️⃣ Great leaders see the champion in everyone and set them up to reach their potential

🔟 Inspiration is all around us if we'll pay attention a little more

Hopefully you are as inspired by this story as I am to be better, to lead better, to understand your role and contribution better, and to give all you've got a little bit better today and going forward. Happy Monday to you!

#everydayleadership #buildingyoubetter #learn #grow #success 

2 years ago on New Year's Eve, I asked everyone in my family to share what they're 2 or 3 big accomplishments were for the year. It was amazing to listen to each of my kids and my wife share!

I did the same thing again this New Year's Eve, and again, it was amazing. From stretching themselves to try new things to excelling in school and sports to making good friends, my family inspires me.

Then, yesterday, I decided to take this activity one step further. I bought everyone a journal, and every Sunday we're going to sit together and answer 1 question a week and then share with each other our answers and thoughts. My oldest daughter inspired our first question this year:

⭐️What do you want to become this year?

Asked another way, who do you want to become? What type of person do you want to work on becoming this year? What kind of growth are you looking for?

The answers were again amazing... and funny.

From my 4 year old - a bunny... a good boy, too, but mostly a bunny (his favorite animal).

From my 6 year old - a doctor or a janitor.

From my other kids and myself and my wife:

-A better brother

-A positive person

-The MVP of my team

-More organized

-More active

-More fit

-More confident in myself

-The type of person others want to be around

It motivated me to hear them share their focus and to see their vulnerabilities as well. Some of us said it wasn't very comfortable to share these things together. It helped reinforce that everyone is a work in progress and that we all have opportunities to continually grow and improve. And it helped us see we can work on this together as well.

So here we go 2023. Me and my family are working on growth this year - on becoming the type of people we want to be every day.

What do you want to become this year?

#becoming #growth #everydayleadership #buildingyoubetter 

Do you love what you do?

One of my sons was helping clean bathrooms a little over a week ago, doing his part of the chores in our home. But he did extra that day, cleaning the toilets in all of the bathrooms in our home so none of his siblings had to.

Then, when it snowed, he jumped out to the driveway and shoveled our driveway without being asked. He did the neighbor's as well. And just a few days ago, he swept and mopped the kitchen floor in the middle of the day without being asked.

He's only 6, but he loves cleaning and working and helping - just because.

While cleaning the bathrooms last week, not complaining one bit but enjoying every moment of it, he asked me, "Dad, can I be a janitor when I grow up?"

I got a laugh out of his question as that's not the job most people aspire to have. But it got me thinking. Why would he ask that?

Because he loves what he's doing. He loves to clean, loves to work, and he just loves to help.

And when you love what you do, it changes how you feel and approach the task at hand. While most don't find cleaning a toilet or shoveling snow the ideal chores to be doing, to him it brings great enjoyment and satisfaction because he's doing what he loves to do.

Do you love what you do? It really does make a difference.

#everydayleadership #buildingyoubetter #success #lovewhatyoudo 

I ran a 5k on Thanksgiving Day. My wife and I woke up early and got out in the cold together to do it.

We were supposed to do it last year but not got covid a day or two before the race.

My training had been lacking in preparation for this race, and I told my wife to go run her race and not wait for me. (She's a better and faster runner than me all day long! And that's OK - I don't mind chasing her!)

I hadn't run this race before, and I had plenty of reasons to complain. I was tired. My training and preparation was not adequate. It was cold. And my feet hurt while I ran that morning.

That all changed as the race got under way.

From seeing people dressed up like Pilgrims and turkeys to others in just shorts and tshirts, the mood was light and fun right away. And more than that, the entire race course was lined with signs - signs from race participants that said what they're thankful for. It changed my mindset that morning.

One in particular stood out to me. It asked a question. "Do you take for granted or for gratitude?"

I knew at that moment my mind was and had been in the wrong place. I definitely have taken for granted many things, many situations, and many circumstances that I instead should have an abundance of gratitude for.

So in the season of reflection and change, I'll work to be better at having gratitude more in my heart - at recognizing how blessed I really am.

In what areas of your life can you improve your gratitude?

#gratitude #everydayleadership #buildingyoubetter 

My word for 2023: RUN.

What many of you don't know is that I have struggled with my weight for years. I can be incredibly disciplined and see enormous success in my fitness and health. Last year I rode a bike 3,770 miles and ran in a couple of 5k races and lost over 50 pounds.

This year has been a massive struggle to stay motivated to maintain good fitness and to get back on my feet after my car accident earlier this year. I've gained a lot of weight back and have let my good habits slowly disappear.

I've returned to a state that doesn't make me feel good about myself or even think positively about myself often enough.

So it's time to turn a permanent corner and not look back.

I've gained and am gaining a better understanding of my relationship with my nutrition thanks to Jody Moore and Katrina Ubell, MD.

I'm not committing to better fitness. I'm making a promise to myself and my fitness, thanks to Jason Hewlett, CSP, CPAE.

I'm finding ways to do something, even little things, consistently because something is better than nothing. Joy Mcadams regularly teaches me that.

And a whole host of others are encouraging me, inspiring me, and helping me see what I can become - Paul Lemieux, Jr., Brian Buffini, the John Maxwell Team, and so many more.

I have to give those shoutouts because while some of them may not know it, they are driving forces behind my desire to be better. As such, I have planned my 2023 year of fitness and have signed up for 5 races throughout the year. My promise means nothing without action. So here it is. There was no reason to wait to get started.

I look forward to a better me physically as well as in every other aspect of my life as my physical fitness improves.

Start planning your 2023 now. Then start working on it now. You're worth it. I'm worth it.

You can follow my journey on my blog at www.jpandersen.com or at www.buildingyoubetter.com.

Happy New You!

#health #success #buildingyoubetter 

I spent yesterday in a number of meetings for church and even work. By the time I was done, I was spent and wanted nothing more than to kick up my feet and be left alone for the night.

As a parent of 7, though, that doesn't happen very often. And my wife, who had already shouldered our family responsibilities mostly alone for the day, was ready for some help getting these guys into bed for a little more quiet in the house.

So after a quick dinner, I helped get our littlest 2 guys into bed, and then my 10 year old asked me if I would build legos with him before he went to bed.... that was last thing I wanted to do, but I hadn't spent much time with him this weekend, so I did.

30 minutes later, it was bed time for him, but I couldn't stop looking for pieces and building. My wife reminded me it was his bed time, and he dutifully cleaned up and got into bed but for 20 more minutes I couldn't stop. I kept looking for that "one piece" and then the next "one piece" (which everyone who has ever played with legos knows that one piece is always just one scoop away in the massive pile of endless mixture of legos).

I finally quit, defeated that I couldn't find that one piece. And I finally went in to say goodnight to my son who was waiting for me, laughing at me the whole time that I couldn't find that one piece. Is my creation beautiful or amazing in any way? Nope. I just started from scratch and built a plane because my son told me we were building an airport and a fleet of planes. But what I felt was unexpected.

After the day of meetings and running from one thing to the next and just feeling tired, in that moment, I felt invigorated and a bit of a surge of energy.

Why?

I had experienced a few minutes of pure creativity with my son, and it was a significant mental break for me yesterday.

Honestly, I never thought creative activities could produce that kind of mental "rest" for me, but I'm thinking I may need to do more activities like this when I'm tired.

I love creativity and opportunities to create in my work and in organizing my home. I love creativity when intentionally having fun with my kids by making up games to play or writing silly rhymes or songs with them. I love creativity in arranging and writing music occasionally. And I love creativity in processing thoughts and ideas that turn into content for me to share.

But I've never considered creative activities and creative work as a mental release before in the way it made me feel last night.

What kind of creative activities do you engage in, and do you use these activities as a mental release or for other purposes?

#creativity #everydayleadership #buildingyoubetter 

I've spent the last few months watching my daughter and her marching band compete almost every weekend since September.

This last weekend they had their last 2 competitions of the season, back to back. Friday was state championships and Saturday was Bands of America. (BOA), which is essentially a large, regional competition of multiple states.

Her band took 2nd in state and 4th overall out of all the bands that competed on Saturday in BOA - 4th out of bands from Utah, Colorado, Nevada, New Mexico and California. Honestly, it was AMAZING to witness and be a part of!

Success like that, though, with a school that is only 4 years old doesn't just happen. If you've ever been in or watched marching band, success at that level only comes when a huge mixture of things come together the right way at the right time.

Every person has to know where to march and hit their spots exactly right.

Every person must know their music and play it perfectly while blending with those around them.

Each drum major has to know the music inside and out and stay in sync with each other in order to lead the band from several different spots on the field.

The band and drumline have to be in sync together throughout the show.

The visuals from colorguard have to be in sync and on time.

The teachers have to lead their sections individually really well so the band collectively can perform well.

The band director must constantly teach and coach and then ultimately trust them to perform as he or she can't do anything more to help them once it's showtime.

And in this case, even a little luck has to fall your way... in our case, the weather had to cooperate so they could do their flyover (the huge flag pulled over the band in the video). Any breeze at all and that marquee moment in the show wasn't possible.

And with all that, no matter how well or good one individual does, the band only wins as a single unit. And on Saturday, this band did just that. Under the direction of a great leader, all these pieces and so many more came together in the ultimate culmination of success.

That's what success looks like individually and organizationally. Every person knows their role and performs it at an extremely high level for a common goal - a shared vision painted beautifully by their leader who trusts them to perform when it's time.

Success couldn't be painted more beautifully than that. Thank you, Cedar Valley Bands, for teaching me that!

#success #buildingyoubetter #everydayleadership 

"Life is going to beat you up. It wouldn't be fair if you didn't throw some punches back at it." -Bradley Bowman

The last 6 months have definitely felt like life is beating us up a little:

👉Car 1 transmission leak... attempted repairs didn't work; still leaking

👉Car 2 accident; car totaled...car 1 repairs on hold

👉Back injury from accident

👉Backyard flooding from neighbors yard

👉New used car bought...ac blower and other parts failed

👉New used car transmission failed; no warranty

👉2 ER visits with 2 of my sons on the same day in different locations for head injuries

👉1 year old personal laptop failed and won't restart

👉Pay raise request denied

👉Drama with our teenagers

👉New used car NEW transmission failed and replaced

👉New used car alternator failed

👉A different son broke his wrist

👉Wife cut her hand and a nerve in her finger; ER visit

👉Wife now needs surgery to repair the nerve in her hand

I share this not to draw sympathy to me and my family but to hopefully help others feel you're not alone. Life is tough sometimes. But, more importantly, this is to encourage everyone - especially me - to throw a few punches back at life.

Because of this and after some time and preparation over the last year-plus, I am punching back and launching my own speaking, coaching and training business:

Cornerstone Leadership, LLC

If you're interested in coaching services or need a speaker for an event, please reach out. From my experience over the last 18 years in facility management and raising a family of 7 kids, I'll share and help you navigate whatever life throws your way by developing your self-leadership and growth opportunities and by helping you, your youth, and your organizations find ways to build you better. You can visit my website (a work in progress but online and available!) and schedule time with me here:

www.jpandersen.com or at www.buildingyoubetter.com

I look forward to working with you and to building you better!

#buildingyoubetter #everydayleadership 

A win is a win, no matter how small.

Success doesn't happen overnight. It's a combination of small wins, failures both big and small, lessons learned, and consistent effort to keep going forward.

It's the small wins that build momentum over time.

For me yesterday, my small win and maybe my only win was that I called our insurance provider to get some clarification on our policy as it relates to some things I'm working on. It took 5, maybe 10 minutes of my day. It wasn't anything big at all and wasn't very hard to do. But it was a win!

For you, it might be as simple as waking up on time or doing the dishes today. It might be answering that one email that's been bugging you for days. It might be doing a single pushup today so that you've exercised or it might be that you read a single paragraph of a book instead of watching tv right before bed. Every and any one of these might be a win for you today, regardless how small or insignificant you may think they are.

Just know a win is a win, no matter how small. So be sure to recognize and count them all.

So today, pick just one thing you've been wanting or needing to do. Plan the time to get it done, and then do it. Then, once it's done, recognize your accomplishment, write it down and celebrate your win! You'll be amazed when you look back at the last week, month and year how much you've won and accomplished.

#success #smallwins 

Is there a difference?

A great environment or a great culture - are they the same thing? I don't think so.

An environment is created in the physical space. It's built and affected by lighting, furnishings, finishes and spacing. It creates an atmosphere that can stimulate different experiences... fun, focus, relaxation, etc.

Culture is part of the workplace experience but it's more than that. Culture is really driven by attitudes, beliefs, and behavior. It's how people act in tough times and how they work together to problem solve. It's the way people treat each other every day and how they approach their work. It's built by leaders with vision who model keystone behaviors as much as it's built by leaders who don't. Culture is built whether a leader wants it to and plans for it or not and is built regardless of the environment (although environment can influence and enhance a culture).

The environment often requires a more substantial investment of resources to build and maintain than culture does but doesn't often produce the same ROI as culture does.

So important as it is to find a place to work with a great environment, focus on finding a great culture. The ROI for the company and for you will be much greater than just making sure you get to play air hockey on your breaks with your colleagues.

#culture #experience #environment #leadership 

One of my sons started wrestling this year. It's his first time doing it. That's my son there in the blue tshirt.

2 nights a week, he goes to the high school and practices with all the kids in the community from 5 years old up through seniors in high school. The high school coaches and high school team teach them and coach them. It's a fun environment to be in and learn in. All the boys and girls are locked in and work hard every practice. They're engaged, they're attentive, and they do what they're coaches say. They are motivated to get better.

How do they get all of these 30 to 40 kids every week to lock in like that?

At the start of practice as they warmup and then stretch, each coach walks around and shakes every kids' hand, says their name and welcomes them to practice. They check-in with each one and usually ask a specific question about each kid - about their wrestling, about their family, or something personal to them.

These coaches create an environment culture of trust and learning through that one simple task.... and they're consistent with it.

Environment is definitely influenced by your physical surroundings, but what you DO has a bigger influence on the environment you CREATE with your teams...it's really creating a CULTURE. 

So focus on CREATING the environment culture you want and need for your teams. The outcomes you want may be just a question and handshake away.

#environment #team #learning #successstrategies 

I went 10 for 11 in the fourth quarter.

We were tied for first place in the district and had a head-to-head play-in game to see which team would advance to the next round. I was in 8th grade and playing on my middle school basketball team. We were playing our main rival and anxious to win.

It was a close game all the way through. The difference was we had multiple chances to take the lead and secure the win. We, or said better, I just didn't capitalize on the opportunity. I missed 10 of 11 free throws through the end of the 4th quarter that would have secured the win for us but instead led us to a competitive overtime where we lost.

The misses got to me. I was frustrated and unfocused, and the other team knew it. Loss was inevitable. It was one of the worst games of my life.

Fast forward a few years... we were down by 2 with 3 seconds left. It was our ball to inbound under our basket. We ran a play, and my teammate made a perfect pass to me cutting under the basket. I made the shot with 1 second on the clock and got fouled on the play. Tie game now. All I had to do was make the free throw and we would win. I had had the game of my life at that point. I just had to make 1free throw, and the game would be ours.

I missed. Overtime.

Just a few minutes later after focused and motivated play by my team, we won. I scored all 8 points in overtime, finishing the game with 40 points - my personal best game ever.

The difference was I learned how to lose.

I didn't learn ways to lose or to lose on purpose. That's not what I mean. I mean I learned what loss can teach me.

I learned that loss is a learning opportunity, if we're willing to look at it that way. I learned loss can be used as a motivation to improve my future self. I learned than when I separate emotion and turn on the analytical part of brain, I can find specific areas where I can improve - from my mindset to my technique to a specific skill - all of these things can teach me to be better next time. Loss can give me roadmap for where I want to go.

While I hate losing, John Maxwell I think taught the best approach to losing when he said, "Sometimes you win. Sometimes you Learn."

My challenge to you is to learn how to lose better today, and make losing your teacher.

#learn #success #opportunity #mindset

Resilience - the capacity to recover quickly from difficulties.

During my trip to the Philippines a few weeks back, I was again reminded of just how resilient the Philippines' people are. In any given year they will experience monsoonal flooding, earthquakes (a 7.0 just struck a few weeks ago), volcanic eruptions, occasional tsunamis of varying size, and on average, they experience about 20 typhoons a year - 20!

It's amazing they rebuild so often and haven't collapsed yet as a country from such frequent natural disasters. While I was there, I learned this resiliency isn't something new. The Philippines' people have regularly shown resiliency in the face of difficulty. The picture today shows Manila after World War II. In the forefront of the picture is a church with its main structural walls still standing while all around it the majority of the city was destroyed from bombings.

I learned that this particular church, a prominent symbol of their religious history, was originally built around 1581 and has been destroyed and rebuilt 8 different times!!

And that hit home with me. Their resilience is second to none. It's inspiring and awesome to witness.

It's easy to give up when things get tough. It takes very little effort to stay down when the world knocks you down.

But quitting on those moments won't make things easier in the long run. So take a lesson from the Philippines and exercise some resilience. The more you do, the stronger your resilience will become.

#resilience #dontquit #success 

Wakeup call is at 5:30am for these two - by choice - more than 2 hours before they leave for school. We can barely see the ball or the hoop because there aren't any lights out there.

They've asked me to coach them in basketball because they both have clear goals this year. My 10 year old wants to get back to the championship game next year and win. My 13 year old is set on making his school team.

They run distance for endurance. They do sprints for speed and agility. They practice the basics doing layups, passing drills, defensive positioning, and shooting 3 mornings every week. The other 2 days are spent doing pushups and crunches to build core strength.

For every missed layup they do a couple of pushups. For every dropped pass they do the same. And by choice, my 13 year old does 10 pushups for any airball he shoots. And at the end of practice, we play the 2 of them against me. It's fiercely competitive because all 3 of us want to win.

The rules on the court include:

🏀 You put in 100% effort

🏀 We do not criticize each other no matter what... only encouragement is allowed

🏀 We own our mistakes

🏀 No excuses or complaints

🏀 Use your frustration to focus your effort more

🏀 "Yes, Coach" is the response when getting coached or asked to do a drill

This is the Champion's Mindset. It's a simple formula:

A willingness to sacrifice what is easy for what you want + put in the work

This is what separates the great from the rest. This mindset is foundational to signifant success. My boys are exhibiting and learning great habits right now that will set them up for life and setting a great example for all their siblings and me. And in the end, I think they'll see and say it was worth it, especially because they chose it.

So today, choose to be a champion. It's worth it.

#champion #success #mindset #successprinciples 

**SPOILER ALERT!**

You don't have to watch the full 5 minute video... it ends the same way it starts. And I only started the video half way through the drive. 😅

After church yesterday, my kids begged me to take the dirt road home. Why?

Because it's so bumpy that they can do this the whole way home and make their voices shake just like the car. This is life in our house.

You might be asking, what's the lesson in that?

First, I need to get away and get some quiet every once in a while!

And second, life is what you make of it. You want fun? Choose to make it fun. You want excitement? Choose to make it exciting. You want success? Choose to make yourself successful.

Every day in life is a choice. I could get away for some quiet if I wanted to... or I could join them and enjoy the dirt road bumps just as much as them.

#enjoytheride #choosehappiness #success

They heard an explosion and within 30 minutes this family lost everything.

It only took 30 minutes for the fire and flood of water required to extinguish the flames to destroy everything. Having just recently moved in with 2 young boys that just started school, it was tough to witness how fast their lives changed. I can only imagine what they are feeling and experiencing.

But in the midst of this life-changing moment, our community stepped up and stepped in. Blankets, clothing, volunteer shoppers to replace what was lost, rooms to sleep in, meals, and a go fund me campaign were all arranged as quickly as the fire engulfed their home.

It has been amazing to witness the good in the community around me when the world we live in focuses on so much negativity. It reminded me that if we really want to see the good in the world around us, all we have to do is look for it.

Like the young man I witnessed yesterday afternoon that stood up to give up his seat to the elderly woman who entered the train station, it's easy to find the good in the world around you. You just have to look for it.

But if you really want to see the good, don't look for it. Be the good in the world you're in today.

#bethegood #successprinciples

I spent last week in the Philippines with our leadership team there.

It was an incredible week and a new cultural experience for me in which I have so many insights and lessons-learned to share. But first, I want to give a great shout out to the team there and for their excellent work, their incredible dedication to their work and each other, and to their leadership.

It is rare to experience the kind of environment that functions at a high level with such strong interpersonal relationships with one another. Their leaders definitely love and live leadership daily, and it's evident in their teams.

And of all the lessons I learned, I cannot speak fondly enough of the kindness of the Philippine people. They set the standard for what kindness is and how it should be lived and shown every day. From the moment we arrived to playing basketball with so many employees together to the last day, even as I fell ill, their kindness may be the best in the world.... from the airport crews to the hotel staff to our own facilities team, their kindness and respect for everyone should be how we all live daily.

Thank you, Tomasito Zapanta and team and the Philippines 🇵🇭 for such a wonderful experience!

#team #leadership #thankyou #kindness

"Money can't buy you happiness, but it can buy you ice cream. And ice cream makes me happy."

That's what my oldest daughter told me yesterday. I love ice cream, too, so I can't disagree!

What struck me from her comment was that she knows what makes her happy. She's actually very clear on what makes her happy.... music, photography, and ice cream.

It got me thinking if we all know what really makes us happy. And even more than that, do we take the time to indulge in those things that bring us joy? While I love a great thunderstorm or hiking in the mountains, it would be unreasonable for me to do that all day long every day. But, I do need to take the time to engage with those activities.

Why?

Because I work to live, not the other way around. Jim Rohn said, "Happiness is not by chance, but by choice."

So choose to do something today that makes you happy simply because you can - because you do have a choice.

#choosehappiness #happiness #successprinciples

Are you an anchor or a sail?

As a teenager, I loved getting out on the water. I got my sailing license one summer and spent a lot of time on the Chesapeake Bay learning how to sail a couple of different small boats. It was an amazing feeling to let out the sails and get those boats cruising across the water and getting it up on its side while hiking out over the edge.

Part of my licensing was learning the function of each part of the boat. And with most sailboats, they have an anchor and at least 2 sails. And each has a specific and obvious purpose.

The anchor is meant to keep the boat from moving... or, in some cases, when the water is too deep for it to hit the water's floor, to slow and stabilize the boat in rough waters.

The sails are meant to help the boat move... to help it get from one point to another... to let it fly across the water in the right conditions and when trimmed correctly.

Both have their purpose, but the boat is useless if it just sits at anchor all the time. The captain must lift the anchor in order to let the boat move forward. And the captain must trim the sails correctly to maximize its speed and direction.

So it is with leaders. Are you going to be an anchor or a sail? Are going to hold yourself or your teams or your children back from moving forward because you won't lift the anchor? Or are you going to let out the sails and trim them so they can fly?

While there is a time and a place to use the anchor, the boat cannot achieve its designed purpose unless you lift the anchor and let it sail. Choose to sail.

#sail #letthemfly #leaders